Not much new....

I was hoping to head home on the train this afternoon since it didn't seem my blood counts were going anywhere quickly and they aren't open for collection on Saturday. We knew it was a long shot but we bought our refundable tickets and were packed up just in case there was a green light to head out for a few days and be back Monday (or even Sunday if necessary). Unfortunately my platelets fell to 6,000 again so I couldn't go anywhere. They suspect that the transfusions I have received aren't a close enough match so they aren't "sticking" in my blood and instead are passing straight thru me. Today they took a blood sample and will HLA type me in order to find specific donors. In the meantime, my sister Ruth is flying up tomorrow to donate platelets and Mom will donate on Sunday. Hopefully these platelets will work better in my system since they are related donors and should have some genetic similarity. Today I got two units of platelets and was told to come in to the Urgent Care clinic each day this weekend to have my blood checked to see if I need any transfusions.

As you can imagine, it wan't my best day. I've had a splitting head ache that has kept me in bed most of the day. I am worried that things aren't going well, although Mom does remind me that this is "Day 3, Cancer Free". My little pillow that the Maddreys made me is so true these days. It says - "Trust Him - When darkest thoughts assail thee, when thy faith is small, when to simply trust Him, is the hardest thing of all." As most of you know, I do well when there is a plan. Right now I feel like I am barely treading water and not getting anywhere fast. It is definitely a challenging time and I find it hard to be positive. Please pray for me to strengthen my faith that this will all work out even though the "plan" isn't clear to me right now.

Brant has called me no less than three times today and is a great souce of strength. Opening day of baseball for the kids is tomorrow and he knows it is hard for me when I was so sure I would be at their games. But he is keeping things going down there and the kids really do seem happy although I know they miss me. Brant was headed out to the grocery store and Home Depot with them tonight in their "Heelys" Those wheeled shoes really have made the kids more interested in shopping outings!